When you think of wishes

When people think of wishes,
they think of money, success,
perfect lives.

But I think of timing.
How one moment
can change everything.

My birthday is tomorrow.
It feels quieter this year.
Not worse,
just missing something
I didn’t realize I could lose.

Fourteen.
Fourteen times I replay that day,
wondering how different things would be
if I had just paused.

Thirteen.
Thirteen ways I could’ve said something differently to you instead of what I ended up saying

Twelve.
Twelve memories that still feel the same,
even if we don’t.

Eleven.
Eleven nights spent laughing
like nothing could touch us
before something did.

Ten.
Ten things I wish I understood sooner:
not every feeling needs to be spoken
right away.

Nine.
Nine times I chose reaction
instead of reflection.

Eight.
Eight reminders that not every mistake
can be undone,
but it can be learned from.

Seven.
Seven moments I wish I handled
with more care
instead of impulse.

Six.
Six times I almost reached out again,
then realized
growth sometimes means
giving space.

Five.
Five things I’d say now, if I could
but not to fix anything,
just to be honest.

Four.
Four moments
I wish I had handled differently
because even years of knowing you
couldn’t protect us from one mistake.

Three.
Three lessons you left me with:
think before speaking,
value what’s steady,
and don’t assume time will wait.

Two.
Two versions of me
one who reacted too fast,
and one who finally understands
the weight of that.

One.
One thing I know now:
some connections don’t come back,
but they still shape
who you become.

Realistically,
I know not everything is meant to be fixed.
Some things shift
the second we act without thinking.

But I’ll carry that with me.
not as regret that weighs me down,
but as something
I won’t let happen twice.