MEl’s Totally Awesome Advice
Dear Mel, I have a problem. You see, I’m dating this guy, but it seems like he has way more problems than me. He has mommy AND daddy issues, he hates his brother, he uses chat for EVERYTHING (even our texts) and he's STILL failing. It seems like his problems are becoming my own. I’m a high achiever, and it seems like he’s bringing my worth down, but I'm kinda here for it. You see, I kinda like seeing him torn up about his problems, I kinda like seeing boys cry. His problems add a unique kind of drama to our relationship and it makes things way more exciting because his personality is just SO dull. So, with all these things in mind, what should I do?
-Anna
Dear Anna, what the actual HELL. This seems like something that NEEDS my help and don’t worry, Mel’s here to help! First and foremost, you need a psychologist and it SHOWS. Maybe go on Mondays, though, it's less short of a wait. Out of all my experiences with relationships, I have NEVER had one like yours. Also I kinda have 30+ exes so I’m probably not the best to ask these questions to…anywho, WHY IS HE USING CHATGPT FOR YOUR TEXTS? Are you dating him or the damn bot!? Anna! What are you doing girl!? Befriend his mother AND father, and start giving him an insight of his own problems and you can figure out why he hates his parents so much. DUH! Also, for a high achiever, you need a high achieving man, reach out to Andrew Tate. With all this mumbo jumbo I'm reading, you should DUMP HIM!
Hi Mel, this is serious. You see, my boyfriend has been making me angry recently, as I'm sure you’d understand, and I've been venting to my friends about it here and there, more like everyday honestly. Anywho, now my friends hate my boyfriend! They told me they’re going to jump him after school on my behalf but I don’t want them to (even though he’d probably look handsome fighting) I talked to him and he said that we should both jump all my friends and take them on 2v6. Who do you think would win, but more importantly, how do I get my boyfriend to stop being so annoying??
Soon-to-be-fighter
-Tara
Dear Tara, from what I’m reading, this is a love-hate relationship but I’m not sure. You say he’s annoying? To answer that last question, I say talk to him about it and figure things out, just the both of you. They say communication is key to a healthy relationship, but I like to stir things up sometimes so maybe I shouldn’t give you advice on this? But I’ll do it anyway! WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOUR FRIENDS JUMP YOUR BOYFRIEND FOR BEING ANNOYING!? Also, if the fight is at school, make sure to do it after school and NEVER throw the first punches, it just makes you look bad. I think your friends would win, obviously. Unless you have like a very muscular, hot, shmexy, tall… okay anywho, unless he has the features of a winner. And to close this up, stop starting fights when you’re gonna fight for the other side!
-Mel