The Talking Stage: Necessary or Waste of Time?
Pro: The Talking Stage is Necessary by Ainsley Gilchrist
Ainsley is for the “Talking Stage” in dating.
In an age where relationships move at the speed of a double-tap, the talking stage has become modern love’s pause button. Before diving straight into “official” dating, people nowadays spend time texting, hanging out, and getting to know each other before officially labeling anything. While some might negatively refer to this as a "situationship", the talking stage actually helps build emotional readiness and lets people get to know each other better. It’s a chance to understand someone's morals, values, interests, and intentions before committing.
Not everyone is emotionally ready for a relationship right away. The talking stage gives people time to figure out not only who they want but what they want. Real compatibility takes time to uncover. Talking first without rushing into labels helps people make decisions based on understanding, rather than impulse. Nobody wants to end up in a relationship that they rush into that ends up being not fulfilling.
Existentially, the talking stage is an act of rebellion against how fast the world moves. We live in a culture of instant gratification and instant heartbreak. A real, meaningful connection doesn't happen on a schedule.
Taking time to learn someone's real, true self gives love more intention. It's telling the other person you actually want to understand them, not just have them.Taking it slow also removes pressure that crushes connections. There's no, “Are we official yet?” People can be themselves more honestly and truly get to know each other. There's room to mess up and talk about everything. The lack of pressure is what creates a more genuine bond. Emotional foundation is what real relationships are supposed to be built on.
You might think it's funny. Two people texting 24/7, facetiming all the time, always hanging out, but swearing they're “just talking." Behind this is something human and sweet. It's two people trying to navigate vulnerability in a world that constantly tells them not to catch feelings.
So no, the talking stage isn't a waste of time or a way to avoid commitment. It's modern dating’s way of slowing down, of making sure that when we do choose someone, it's for the right reasons, making sure we don't rush into coming to someone. If we're going to build something real it should start with something simple: a good conversation.
Counter-Point: The Talking Stage is A Waste of Time by Montana Hansen
Tana is against the “Talking Stage” in dating.
I don’t know how many times I have heard, “we text everyday, send goodnight and good morning snaps, and even hang out multiple times a week and this has been going on for months, but no we aren’t dating, we are just talking.” The so-called talking stage has become Gen-Z’s favorite waiting room for love. Everyone is too scared to move forward but also too attached to leave. This could sound like a harmless trend but it can pull you out like a ripcurrent and tangle you up into an emotional struggle.
The talking stage creates confusion, encourages emotional detachment, and reflects our generation's fear of vulnerability more than genuine connection.
No one ever knows what they are as they ask, “are we dating?” and “are we exclusive?” but they continue to get the same response of “we are talking.” This stage doesn’t even give specific expectations or give clarification. Instead, it creates confusion, anxiety, and insecurity. They aren’t committed to each other and it makes them worry constantly. It complicates communication and avoids real, deep, and needed conversations, in order to keep things “chill”. Yet people would rather float in uncertainty than risk rejection and define meaning in their relationship. The talking stage is a constant cycle of uncertainty and anxiety.
Through constant texting and late night calls, it may feel intimate, but there is no guarantee of commitment. It is kind of like emotional fast food, it is quick and satisfying in the moment, but it is not lasting or nourishing.
In the moment, you are getting attention and positive reinforcement but attention is not the same as affection. Attention is the temporary focus on someone, whereas affection is an emotional expression of genuine care and love. In order to create a strong emotional bond where you trust the other person and create a sense of safety, commitment and deliberate affection is needed. How are you supposed to trust someone if they can’t even commit to you? To one person, they could be serious about getting into a relationship and creating a genuine connection and the other person could do it for entertainment and for “fun.”
Talking stages are just an excuse for the crave of intimacy but the fear of vulnerability. In order to keep the feeling of control and options, people keep things undefined. A real relationship requires risk and honesty, which are also the 2 things that a talking stage avoids. As people choose to protect themselves, they end up creating connections with less meaning. It is important to create a strong foundation for a long lasting relationship by defining love and not just talking around it.
